I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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