i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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