3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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