allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
