Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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