My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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