Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
