guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
