P.S. I can't hear my feet
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
