I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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