oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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