whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize