We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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