DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he's gonorrhea incarnate
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
