Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
