I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Did I show you my penis last night?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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