this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
