I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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