Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
