stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize