I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
