On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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