Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
