You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize