I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
