Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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