my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
