I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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