found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
