Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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