my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
