it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
