no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
