I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize