We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So squirting runs in the family.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Randomize
