official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
