I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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