So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
