Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize