you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
