Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
