Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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