Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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