Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
