I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
