He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize