i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
