Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize