the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
not ubering you a puppy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize