so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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