I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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