Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
