We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
