The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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