On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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