Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
