Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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