he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize