dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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