we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
