Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
