Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
