You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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