My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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