Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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