I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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