I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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