I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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