I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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