I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
