Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
