I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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