Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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