Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
