Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
