anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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