Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
