it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
