Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
