We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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