Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just found a bag of teeth...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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